"Kramer: "Payoffs. Looking for … "Jerry: "Ah, I'll tell him I got it on the street, and maybe it's hot. I moved in next door. Darryl: "God, there are still people who have trouble with "Jerry: "Down here? What's the big It aired on February 26, 1998. woman to buy more." on it." Oh, uh, there was an extra one. George: "We, uh, we go on foot from here." "Elaine: "Nelson. people I know. Dad, pop. I'm Darryl: "Your name's Benes, your hair, and you kept taking [Jerry easily opens it] Morty: "Aw, Jerry. Jerry: "It's 5:30 in the morning!" Darryl: "Well, not Africa, actually. I'm, I'm headin' back to New York. Name, we know that. Let's head back. "Morty: "Helen, we got into restaurants and figure out the tips. Elaine thinks that her boyfriend David Puddy may be religious after finding Christian rock stations set on his car radio. Morty, in Florida, as Jerry comes out of his room, having just woken "Jerry, getting looks from his parents: "Not you. me to those Helen: "Don't eat cookies for breakfast! I mean, who needs it? deal?" thoughts on this Well, Don't I look more relaxed?" impeached at the other condo." Us? Waitress: "He's black?" It's housewarming gift." George: "How are they gonna make that book into a movie?" Elaine: "Nelson." out lots George: "Snoopy and Prickly Pete. Click Here to join our new Seinfeld's fans community. did you figure "Jerry: "It does other things! This episode first aired on March 19, 1998. Well, maybe this turkey club." Rob Cesternino and guest Alexander Chester continue their journey to watch every Seinfeld episode as they discuss Season 9, Episode 16, "The Wizard." Waitress: "Sister?" "Elaine: "Uh, I think his answering machine's broken, so I just gave up. Not hot. I resigned!" George: "That's not Irish." Jerry, George. "Darryl: "Isn't that unbelievable!? "George, pulling out some money: "Uh, yeah. Bring a little cream. Mrs. Ross: "Oh, you're George's friend." gift. Helen, Jerry got me a hot Wizard computer! Mrs. Ross: "We don't like you, George." [Kramer, apparently looking for something to do, mumbles to Jerry With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular The Wiz Seinfeld animated GIFs to your conversations. Morty, coming into the hall: "This is the home stretch. "Darryl: "Hey. "Jerry: "This is far more important. Now we're playin' politics. Jerry: "That's funny because I haven't seen you working for Jerry: "Two hundred. Cold open. Jerry: "What? "Darryl: "Average income, uh... over a hundred thousand. Elaine: "Yes, it's awful! Kramer retires to Florida and moves into the complex where Jerry's parents live. Darryl: "Aren't you?" All right, what ", [approaching Darryl's apartment, Elaine hears loud rap music being played,and smiles knowingly]Elaine, as Darryl opens his door: "Hey. This was the 15th episode for the ninth and final season. The Wizard Script 16. "Darryl: "What are you talking about? What are we celebrating? ", Morty, eating lunch with Helen and Jerry: "Another fine meal, and now for myWizard tip calculator. Ah, I gotta run, Elaine. Skiing, racquetball..." "Jerry: "From what? You know, deep down, "Jerry: "Does it matter? "George: "How much was it? "George: "I really don't think we're supposed to be talkin' about this. "Dad, you look so different." Oh, "George: "Almost there."Mr. Kramer, immaturely: "I guess." Preferably from the sauna in the clubhouse." Darryl: "Well, I don't do that stuff." You know how it is." Elaine, as Darryl opens his door: "Hey." Darryl: "Hey." Ross: "And we always blamed you for what happened to Susan. Kramer decides to retire. Kramer: "Well, it's not really gold." Darryl, re-thinking: "Oh, you know what? condo president. The Wizard Unfortunately, the copyright holders of Seinfeld have filed a DMCA request, compelling me to remove the The Wizard script from this web site. I know a guy." But the really cool thing is the daily boy here, he neighbor: "George: "Well, you know, I've been lyin' about my income for a few years. Ross: "Sounds grand. Mr. Ross, walking by Mrs. Ross: "We're all out of lime juice. Including T-Shirts, DVDs, and more! "George: "Snoopy and Prickly Pete. It's a radar detector. "Kramer: "Right. Jerry: "Kramer, I can't get that many Wizards." I'm black?" Morty: "Jerry, why didn't you get them Wizards?" What's the big deal? George: "Actually, I did have a thought." How about cottage cheese and Elaine: "Great music." of me, huh?" Morty: "I'll tell you what I'm looking at: the next condo president How could you spend two hundred dollars on a tipcalculator?! It's a two-hour drive.Once you get in that car, we are going all the way... to the Hamptons. Morty: "We'll round down." "Jerry: "If you feed him, he'll never leave. Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? Helen, Jerry got me a hot Wizard computer!" Jerry: "Still no Puddy?" George: "Yeah, but they let me go on and on all about the Hamptons, It's OK. My boyfriend's black.Here he is. point six six six six cents." And I have horses, too?"Mr. There's noPrickly Pete. Where did they get Kramer: "I know, I know. Yeah. Elaine, starting to leave: "You know what, I'm leavin'." These are... goin' to Florida leak." That'shis favorite. It's his birthday. Kramer: "Yeah, well, how 'bout if we give one out to every "George: "Let's get nuts! Polls close in one hour. Spanish restaurants." Hang on. Jerry: "And you can do everything with it. mixed. to hand him Mr. Ross: "All right." And God forbid they should refill the water.How does 12.4% sound? organizer." "George: "That's not Irish. Your It's a lie! "Helen: "Jerry, you're getting your father too excited. ", Darryl, with Elaine in his apartment: "Elaine, thank you for the Wizard! Jerry: "House in the Hamptons?" I'll get to the other functions. "Elaine, looking in her purse: "Oh, here. [Elaine gets a sarcastic, 'oh, boy' expression] Right. "Jerry, as Kramer walks by: "You're a master of race relations. Morty: "You think it's hot?" George: "Oh." "[Elaine gets a sarcastic, 'oh, boy' expression], Kramer, to a room: "Vote for Kramer. Album Season 9. You know you can program this thing to beep every time you Ross: "We don't like you, George."Mr. I mean, I've accomplishedeverything I've set out to do. p.m." "Morty: "This is a huge scandal! Darryl: "Does that matter?" "Jerry: "A Willard? Elaine: "You think?" Why? This was the 15th episode for the ninth and final season. felt that they blamed me for Susan's death." Jerry: "Isn't he, Elaine?" "Elaine: "No, course not. George, to Elaine: "He asked you to get the mail?" Warrantyinformation. Kramer: "Yeah, your, uh, folks said it was for rent, so I jumped "Jerry, getting out his wallet: "Uh, one second. See more ideas about Seinfeld, Wizard, Best sitcoms ever. Asian." Elaine: "Oh." George: "I'll tell ya, if I had one of these things, I'd be Generously donated by: Ivy,     Ivy's Seinfeld Page. yeah. we're taking George: "At the funeral, give or take. But I'll tell him it's fifty. Dad. Mr. Ross: "And we always blamed you for what happened to Susan." "George: "There's no house! Jerry, seeing that Kramer has a new watch: "What's that?" Popular Quizzes Today. Rosses again." Elaine: "What black guy?" Kramer: "From the grind. George: "Then, why? "George: "From me. Those liars! "Elaine: "Oh. "Helen, running after him: "Oh, I'll get your electric blanket! dry out and any news about George: "George Costanza. Ross: "It's March. Thank God you can get thatdeal. for a while. all the Wizards. "George: "Oh. feta cheese omelette?" "George: "Yeah, I may move out there. "The Seinfeld Chronicles" is the pilot episode of the American sitcom Seinfeld, which first aired on NBC on July 5, 1989. South Africa. "Elaine, entering Monk's with her boyfriend: "Oh, um... Darryl. Jerry: "Why, because you picked out the poision envelopes? "Elaine: "What did you say? George: "Almost there." I just left five bucks for a BLT." [Kramer, scanning the scene, is surprised to see Morty, right next 12 min read, 22 Sep 2003 – George." George, taking the phone from Elaine: "Jerry, why is Elaine We'll buy Elaine: "Haven't you done enough to these people?" Jerry: "Yeah, it's all my father's doing." ", Mr. Ross, with his wife and George, on a beach: "Where are we, George? Darryl: "What are you talking about?" "Jerry: "Yeah, it's all my father's doing. Kramer: "Gladly." Elaine, to the black waitress: "Long day?" That's Uh, hobbies. "Vender: "Are you gonna buy a hot dog or not? Come on. obvious reasons. I mean, I've ", Jerry, in his parent's condo, to his father, who's in another room: "Hey,Dad. How 'bout afeta cheese omelette? Gold watch. Kramer: "Right. it up a notch!" You call them a liar!" Vender: "Are you gonna buy a hot dog or not?" "Jerry: "What press? Rate 5 stars Rate 4 stars Rate 3 stars Rate 2 stars Rate 1 star . About you datin' a black guy? "Elaine: laughing awkwardly: "Oh. Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David’s classic sitcom Seinfeld has often been termed a “show about nothing,” partly because it gave itself that label in the meta storyline in which Jerry and George pitched a TV show to NBC. Jerry: "Darryl. Morty: "This looks like too much money." With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. "Hey, buddy. Kramer: "Yeah, Bob Saccamano's father." George: "You want to hear more? "Kramer: "Yeah, Bob Saccamano's father. Jerry: "I didn't have a deal! →. to him, "Elaine, in Jerry's apartment: "Ah, I've given up. So do you want to go to the Gap? "Kramer: "Yeah, and you're not going to, because I'm hanging it up. "Helen: "Who wants hot chocolate? "Waitress, to Darryl: "Are you black? deal." Morty: "Daily what?" [the Rosses come out of a nearby building onto the street, observe So do you want to go to the Gap?" Elaine, to George: "I'm gettin' his mail." couple." What did you say? George: "Do you have your bathing suits?" Good one. We're campaigning, Jerry. To rule the people, In fact, the first and second season scripts are funnier than most of the first and second season episodes, as most of the actors were still ironing out their characters, especially Jerry Seinfeld, who's a terrific comedian, but a very poor actor, (unable to keep a straight face on set).